Always and Forever
by MAVEN Hisakawa
Summary: One Shot. Anguish. Sesshomaru loved Rin since she was a child, and now, 10 years later, after she grew to be a beautiful woman, he's accepted the fact that he's befallen the same fate his father had fell through. What happens when he comes back for her after he left her in Kaede's village for 10 long years with little contact, in hopes of kindling the spark he hopes they both have?


He loved her. He always did. He might have never had the strength to ever admit it out loud, but she was his world long before he even realized it for himself. The day he found her, his life turned upside down. Everything changed. Sesshomaru's cold heart thawed and she brought about a side of him he never even knew existed.

At first, it was mere fascination. A human who didn't fear him and genuinely _liked_ being with him was something he's never seen before. He wanted to know how long she would stick around despite the carnage in his wake, thinking somehow, he'll manage to scare her off soon enough. _It was bound to happen_ , he though. But it never did. She just followed him, far and wide, no matter where he went and how many he killed. And it took quite sometime for him to realize he had stopped killing soon after. The demon lord had began making accommodations to make sure he doesn't mentally scar his new companion without much thought. And he didn't mind.

Soon after, he came to actively care for her well-being. He worried where she went, looked out for her health, helped her - albeit, discreetly - find food, sent Jakken and Ah-Uhn to protect her, and came to her rescue. He didn't quite understood why, and the silver-haired demon made a note to convince himself it was only because she was entertaining to him. She annoyed Jakken, and the imp's frustration was an amusing one, and so he was keeping her for that. Of course, it wasn't the truth but it saved him from having to admit to what he considers to be his new weakness.

When Rin died after being swallowed by the portal Tenseiga had created in an effort to perfect it back in his mother's castle, Sesshomaru had accepted the truth of their relationship: he _loved_ her. The thought of losing her, the thought of paying for power with the price of her life was too much - power, which he once thought was everything - meant nothing to him now if that meant losing her. His resolve broke, and for the first time, he accepted the truth he's been denying all along. Of course, his mother knew and understood. Despite his cold demeanor and his pretend annoyance towards her, she cared for him much like every normal mother to their child. She didn't want heartbreak to be the first thing he felt the moment his heart finally thawed the ice he encased it in, and so she brought her soul back once more, warning him it would be the absolute last. With his joy, came terror. She was back, but he was called to realize just how mortality of a human child works; and he began to shelter her more and more in fear of losing her once more, permanently.

The war for the Shikon no Tama had ended only weeks later. Peace spread across the lands once more and the balance was finally restored. He was back to his old whereabouts, expanding his domain and dabbling headfirst into the world of demon politics. It wasn't a safe place for a human child to be, perhaps much less safer than it was when Naraku was around. These were his enemies, and they were out against him personally. Unlike Naraku, he was not a prop or a neutral civilian casualty - he was the spotlight of it all, and the demons after him are not below taking what's most important to him hostage for the sake of their own goals. Alas, he came to a conclusion to leave her in the indirect care of Inuyasha in Kaede's village. With their former begrudging allies around, he was confident of the safety of her well-being. And so one day, he just left.

It only seemed like days for him, but it was much longer. Time is a tricky thing, you see. To demons who lived for centuries, time flew by leisurely and held little to no value. To humans, _time is everything_. He didn't quite understand how massively different time treated them until he saw Rin again for the first time since after he left. Sure, he sent Jakken to visit fairly often - to bring expensive gifts and tokens of his conquests - making sure she lives a full, healthy, and fairly rich life, away from the grasping hands of poverty and sickness, but he never came himself. He was busy, and part of him feared seeing her. There was turmoil in his heart, one that grows more and more with each passing day. Distance had only made him miss her and perhaps, he hoped that prolonging their time apart would fix it - that maybe he'd move on and cut the emotional ties that seemed to have bound him to her - but it didn't. It only made it worse. So one day, he caved. He went and visited her for the first time in 10 years.

He hardly recognized her, outside her scent he could never forget. She was much, much taller than how he remembered. He long hair now reached past her waist - black as ebony and soft as silk. She was no longer stubby and her round cheeks are long far gone; instead, well-defined cheek bones was an apparent feature, with full, pink lips, bright brown eyes that reminded him of stars, and a perfectly shaped nose that made her look far too exotic to be living as a farm-hand. Her slender body was well framed in her kimono, defining every curve of her physique - and seems to have quite a lot, as nature had proven to be quite generous to her. She had the look that would put demon women to shame, for she looked far more beautiful than any woman he's ever seen.

She ran to him with the same energy and delight that he remembered. It seems, to Sesshomaru, that Rin had kept all the personality he remembers her having. She walked with a skip to her steps, talking with little to no pause about all the things she's done in the last 10 years. O course, he already knew most of it from Jakken - but he listened anyways. The smile on her lips never faded and he spent the day listening to her stories, enjoying the sound of her voice that he's been longing so long to hear. They walked together the way they used to. Ah-Uhn was there, of course. He had thought in advance that perhaps she's be wondering how he's been and he was right. Right then, he realized how much he missed her: her silly conversations, the sound of her laughter, the way she walks like she's always excited to see where they're going, her attitude and positivity - so unlike his very own, and the way she looks at him in awe instead of fear. She made him feel different - s _he made him different_. And he didn't care.

She was, at that point, his everything. His one and only.

 _His always and forever_.

Without warning, he pulled her close in a tight hug - an action he's been longing to do from the very first day he left her. She responded by pausing abruptly mid-sentence, her body stiff, but in a few seconds, he felt her relax into his arms, shyly returning the surprise embrace. She buried her face in his chest, her arms wrapped tightly around his waist. They stood there in solemn silence, listening to each other's quiet heartbeats.

Finally, she broke free, looking up at him with a sincere look in her eyes.

"I've missed you, Lord Sesshomaru."

He didn't say anything. He wanted to, and he should have - but he didn't. In the end, he didn't have the heart to say out loud the things he felt so strongly in his heart. _Not yet_.

He lifted a clawed hand to her face, brushing away astray hair gently from her lips, tucking it behind her ears. She responded with a grateful smile.

"Hey, Lord Sesshomaru?"

"Hmm?"

"There's something I've been meaning to ask you."

"What is it?"

The breeze blew softly and he could hear the autumn leaves dance with the wind. Rin was silent, as if unsure how say whatever it was she wanted to ask. Finally, after what felt like forever, she seemed to have gathered her thoughts enough that her resolve reflected clearly in her shiny, dark brown eyes.

"I wanted to ask if, well, maybe you could come by and stay a few days at the end of the season."

He blinked, curious. _Why was she asking him to stay over?_ He needn't ask out loud - Rin had caught the question without him speaking it. After all, she's been around him long enough before to know his subtle way of speaking wordlessly, and he didn't change at all since the last time she's seen him. Time, after all, don't seem to touch demons the same way.

"I wanted you to be present during the ceremony... _My weddin_ g ceremony."

And right there and then, he could almost hear his heart shatter to a million different pieces.

"You're getting married?"

She nodded shyly, he could tell she's avoiding eye contact with him now, as if she knew just how she broke his right right then. But she didn't. Her aversion was because she fears he wouldn't approve of her spouse-to-be, and she wanted his blessing.

"I have not heard of this news of engagement from Jakken."

"I didn't tell him. I wanted you to know in person - I thought it would mean more that way. Jakken told me you'd be visiting soon, so I figured I'd wait and tell you myself."

"He's from the village?"

Again, she simply nodded in response.

"How long?"

"Almost 3 years now. He helped me with a lot during tough times. Since after you left me... I guess I was sad. I thought you didn't want me to burden you anymore and I was so unsure of everything. Even when Jakken visited, it didn't help. _You_ never came. It got unbearable, but I understand now. He helped me understand and reassured me you still cared. He pulled me out of dark times and I guess... It just happened. He's a good guy, and you know him too. That's why we agreed to wait to invite you in person..."

"Who is it?"

"It's Kohaku."

He should have known. He should have seen it coming. He should have realized that leaving her all alone for that long was a welcome opportunity for someone else to come win her heart. He should have came back. _But he didn't._

He forced a small smile; she was uneasy. She was scared he'd reject her. He knew - he could hear the pounding nervousness of her heart from where he stood. A veil of nervousness surrounded the once-serene atmosphere that they shared just moments earlier.

"So... Will you come?"

The turmoil in his heart boiled hot. He could feel his soul being crushed as the news sank in, reminding him of how he missed his chance, of how he lost the woman he loved. But he smiled anyways, placing a cold, pale hand on her cheek.

"I wouldn't miss it for anything."

* * *

The wedding was a joyous one, and despite Jakken's protests that human celebrations are demeaning, the demon lord accepted the offer to walk Rin down the aisle. Everything was in white - her dress, a gift he had custom made from the finest cloth in the hands of the finest demon seamstress in existence, was absolutely stunning on her. She looked like an angel, if heaven was even real. The ceremony was big and the whole village partook in it. The monk, Miroku, had conducted the wedding himself.

Sesshomaru watched as Rin's lips met her newly wedded spouse's. He felt as if he was stabbed repeatedly, and the pain was far worse than any injury he's ever received, even when he's lost an arm in the past. It was a throbbing heartache that pounded for every second his golden eyes laid eyes on her in the arms of another man.

But alas, he understood. He cared for her, loved her. He would have given her everything but he knew of his shortcomings and he understood. He was too scared, too reclusive. He should have told her he loved her. He should have told her he cared. He should have came back for her. He should have visited her more often. He should have been honest. There were so many things he should have done, but he didn't.

And perhaps, despite that it hurts, its better this way. She would be safer here. Kohaku would grow old with her and they would together forever, whilst with him, well, she would grow old and he would remain young, untouched by time. Perhaps he was always set for heartbreak all along, just in this scenario, at least, she could enjoy a safer, stable, happier life with someone else.

It didn't matter, at the end of the day. Because no matter what, even if she didn't pick him, she'd still always be his one and only. _His always and forever._


End file.
